EMOTIONAL PROMISCUITY

As a child, I experienced a lot of trauma; one of which was sexual abuse. Gosh, I’d just like to take a moment and thank God for my SANITY! Because I could’ve, and probably should have, gone crazy! Whew!! Sorry I was having a small moment. This is the second time I’ve ever shared this story publicly and every time I think about it, I actually start to cry. Not because of what happened, although very hurtful, but because God KEPT me when I couldn’t keep myself.

I am a silent sufferer and I spent YEARS suffering the damaging emotional and mental effects of the abuse!

Man…Let me get it together so I can finish this blog! Lol

I have had thoughts like "What did I do to deserve this?" Or "Am I damaged goods?” And a common one, “God if you love me, why would you let this happen to me?” The result of these thoughts, led me down this path where I jumped from one well to the next looking to fill the void and emptiness that had grown within.

Even though I wasn't physically promiscuous, I became emotionally promiscuous. Hopping from one guy to the next who would give me the time of the day to whisper sweet nothings in my ear or anything to affirm who I was. Entangling myself in these emotional soul ties only left me emptier and more trapped. All I wanted was validation, for someone to tell and show me that I was worth it. I thought the answer could be found in someone telling me how great I was and it would change how I felt about myself. Truth be told, it did feel good but only for a moment before I was right back in the emptiness and still needing to draw from this shallow well. It only filled me momentarily.

BUT then, I came across the well of living water and I found that it ran deep. I started to realize I was validated before I was even born when Jesus died for me! I mean think about it, HE SET THE STANDARD: YOU, AND I AND ALL OF US, WERE WORTH DYING FOR BEFORE WE WERE EVEN BORN. *Insert excited face here lol*

Such a great revelation, right?!?! The truth is: I didn’t come to know Christ and BOOM I was healed. Did I have access to healing? YES! But I did not immediately exercise my access to healing. It took a lot of work and pressing through! I had to cut ties with all the guys I used to talk too, what am I keeping them around for? I had to become open and honest with God about how I felt. He allowed me to process my anger and hurt. I went innnnn, I had the neck movements and tears streaming down my face. It’s not like he doesn’t already know what you’re thinking! Only then, when I surrendered my hurt and anger that I was able to start the healing process!

So you might be thinking... I wasn’t abused as a child, Line. And that’s great! But I want to challenge you to think about what has or has not happened, that had you or even has you going from one person or thing to the next, looking for validation. You know, that attainment that you think will prove to people that you’re smart or making a certain amount of money to show people you’re independent than they said you were. Maybe it’s being connected to certain people to make you feel prestigious, or get you marrying or dating a certain person to prove to former significant others that you can do better. Whatever it is, the truth is, while those things aren’t necessarily bad things, they can very well become idols. And you become emotionally tied and entangled in something or someone who doesn’t truly have the ability to fill the real void in your life. OUCH! Yea, that was a tough for me to realize as well as I was writing this! Because with or without those things you are STILL worthy and God still calls you his Masterpiece.

I want to encourage you to find validation in the ONE that found you worth it before you even knew He existed! Please know, being healed from this does not exempt you from the enemy’s future attempts to wound you again, to cause you to question your identity and worth. So, now that you know that he will attempt to wound you again, you can respond differently to his tactics.

I wanted to share what I’ve found helpful in my healing process and that have helped me walk in full confidence, so that you can too:

1.) Being honest with God about what happened and how you feel about it.

2.) Read the word! What better place to see sweet words being used to describe who and whose we are.

3.) Along with reading, memorize verses that stick out to you, especially for those future times when the enemy still tries to mess with your head!

4.) Affirmation!! Use God’s word to affirm yourself!

5.) FORGIVENESS: forgive the people involved. This one takes timeeeee!!!

6.) Remembering you are not what you’ve been through or what people said about you.

7.) Identify and assess those things in your life that you draw from, other than God. Why do you find validation in those things?

I just wanted to take this moment to pray with you! I am here for you too, to help you on this journey together.

Dear Heavenly Father, I humbly come before you lifting up the very person reading this blog. Lord, I just want to surrender the shallow wells that they constantly find themselves drawing from that leaves them emptier than before. Lord, I surrender everything they find validation from that isn’t you. I come against the lies of the enemy that has whispered in their ears for so long making them believe that they were getting fulfillment from whatever that well is. I thank you for the encounter they will have with you that will quench their thirst. Whatever they are thirsty for, I know they will find it in you. I thank you that you will give them wisdom so see the tactics and schemes of the enemy when he tries to wound them again. I thank you for revelation for those who may not even know they have entangled themselves emotionally to something or someone. I thank you that you are severing those ties, in the name of JESUS. I surrender their hearts to you. The hearts that are harboring unforgiveness and they not realize they are still emotionally entangled. Help them to LET GO! I ask you search their heart for anything that is trying to compete for the throne of their hearts. I thank you for the freedom being released and healing that will come forth from them surrendering whatever it is. No longer will they find validation and worth in money, people, status, or things. In the mighty, VOID FILLING, HEALING and MATCHLESS name of Jesus, Amen.